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    • Carrie
      • May 17, 2018
      • 2 min read

    The Break-up Break-down


    Break-up Break-down timer: 71 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds.

    When you've been through as many break-ups as I have you develop a relationship exit strategy. Me? I have the "3-Day Break-up Break-down". It's simple, straight forward and, most of the time, effective. I allocate myself three days to mourn the death of a relationship. 72-hours, that's all you get. I don't care if we were married, dating off and on for 15 years, or spent a week whirlwind romance in Mexico . . . three days, that's it.


    That 3 days consists of camping out in my bed cuddled up with a mound of snotty tissues. I cry myself to sleep, when I wake, and every moment in between. I cry until my eyes hurt as much as my heart. Sometimes I cry until I make myself physically ill. Because nothing says "pathetic mess" more than having your head in a toilet unleashing what faintly resembles lunch.


    In the age of social media, break-ups are exceeding the pain threshold for the strongest hearts. Prime example: Long after we broke up, an ex decides to posts photos of us on his social media page. And how do I know? Of course I checked! Disclaimer: I'm into emotional torture.

    Shortest Break-up Break-down record: 28 minutes.

    My little heart has been stomped on, crushed, stabbed, and broken into smithereens. But somehow I manage to put it back together. It takes a lot of care and time to mend it. Sometimes I need the help of a stapler, tape, and hot glue gun. But eventually I allow my heart to be vulnerable again. All for the sake of love. Let's face it, I'm a hopeless romantic in a cynical age. It's a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it.


    My biggest lesson is recognizing that life is too short and the world too vast to waste time pining for someone who wasn't meant to be my forever. I've learned to be happy with who I am and where I am going, even if it means to go alone. Because it's the moving on that teaches me to love once again. And I have no choice but to move on because dawn is breaking on day four.

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    • Carrie
      • Mar 20, 2018
      • 2 min read

    Murphy's Law Of Attraction

    Because anything that can go wrong when I meet a guy, usually does.

    Read and make an informed decision.


    Havana House (club)Older scarey-looking guy: You smell really nice.

    Me: Thank you.

    Older: You smell so nice I think you deserve a drink.

    Me: No thank you, I just had one.

    Older: Well, if you change you're mind let me know. But you do smell real good.

    Me (thinking to myself) "Boy, you know damn well I smell like ten packs of cigarettes in this smokey-ass club."


    Stoplight in Burbank (Man begins to cross but stares at me instead)

    Crossing man: DAMN, you're pretty!

    Me: (laughing) Thank you.

    Crossing man (walking toward the driver's side of my car): I don't give a f*ck, you only live once, but my name is (I forgot already) and it's nice to meet you (grabs my hand to shake it).

    Me: (nervous laugh) Ooookay.

    Crossing man: Will you marry me?

    Me: uh . . . no.


    On phone with Westwood Sports

    Man: Westwood

    Me: What are your hours today?

    Man: Who is this?

    Me: Carrie. Is this Westwood Sports?

    Man: Yeah. You want to talk to Terry?

    Me: No, I want to know what are your store hours.

    Man: Well, I'll be there until 6 o'clock.

    Me: Okay.

    Man: Who is this? Do I know you?

    Me: No, I'm not even from this area?

    Man: Well, what's your name? Do you want lessons? (meaning tennis)

    Me: No, I actually give lessons. What I do want is string.

    Man: Okay. What's your name?


    On a actual "date" with a much younger guy walking along the waterfront

    Man-child: I've been wanting to ask you out for so long.

    Me: Really?

    Man-child: You are surprised?

    Me: Well, I'm glad you . . .car approaches us and driver (older woman) yells out

    Older Woman: Did you need me to pick you up?

    Man-child: Grandma, I told you I'll call you when I'm ready!


    Originally written June, 9, 2007 (yet nothing has changed)

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    © 2021 by Carrie Gallegos.

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